what this live is actually about
i didn’t set out to talk about manifestation in a straight line. that’s not how it works… it’s not how healing works either. so this one spirals, the way all real stories do: recording from my car, i take us on a journey, moving through my first marriage, a safe house in north boulder, a pile of gold on a debt folder, and the moment i heard finn’s voice at the dog park and felt something my body had been waiting to feel for years.
this is about what has to break open before anything good can get in.
a few threads worth tracking
the script — from disney princess to match.com, how so many of us followed a program we didn’t write and didn’t question. what it means to finally notice you’re on the rats’ wheel. [~4:00]
danger equals intimacy — the wiring that draws us toward what’s familiar even when familiar means unsafe. not a character flaw. a nervous system doing exactly what it learned. [~10:00]
the secret left something out — the part about picturing the red car is only the beginning. the real work is what you find when you ask yourself why the red car feels out of reach. the limiting beliefs. the interference. [~17:00]
the safe house — government food stamps, whole foods two blocks away, two little girls, a debt folder with a gold icon. this is the actual origin story of manifesting wealth and i want you to feel how unglamorous it was. and how real. [~24:00]
root to rise — going all the way down before you can go up. the chakra framework that makes sense of why manifestation requires embodiment, not just intention. [~30:00]
finn — the dog park, the voice, the recognition. and then the student loans he paid off without me ever telling him i’d been wanting to pay them off. that’s the part that still gets me. [~38:00]
questions to sit with
— where in your life are you following a script you never consciously chose?
— what does “danger” feel like in your body — and where did you first learn that feeling?
— when you imagine the thing you most want, what comes up in between wanting it and believing it?
— what’s the next better feeling thought from where you are right now?
— what would gratitude feel like in a situation that doesn’t look like abundance yet?
references from this live
the secret — the book/documentary that started the unraveling for me in the safe house years
esther hicks / abraham hicks — “choose the next better feeling thought”
eckhart tolle — the pain body and present-moment consciousness
lee harris — the $100 bill exercise: hold one and notice what comes up
joe dispenza — healing and visualization studies (basketball/mental rehearsal research)
rhythmia — licensed plant medicine facility in costa rica; i go back next week
i am a writer, speaker, and musician devoted to healing and embodiment. i share essays, poetry, and original music through venus consciousness. i’d love to walk this path with you. 💞
