dear Finn, i’m learning to live again

a letter about the soft new winds of change and fresh growth

Oct 23, 2025

i felt like writing finn a letter here. i have written him often, but none that i have posted. maybe this will be the first of many. and i hope that in reading what i share to my beloved, you might also find some part of yourself and your own soul’s journey reflected by my words.

dear finn,

i am sitting here in the sunshine, in the house you designed and built for our family, on the new couch we had to buy since the cats peed all over your old favorite leather one. i remember when i finally dragged it out to the curb while you were napping so you couldn’t protest. you were sad to see it go, like an old friend it had become to you in the lonely years when you were a bachelor, longing to have a family of your own.

you were always sentimental like that. you kept everything, from business cards to concert wristbands. i used to tease you about your packrat ways, but after you died, i was so grateful you were the way you were, leaving the kids and me so much to hold onto from your life.

i want to write you this letter to tell you that i see all the magic you have sent my way since you died. i know you are looking out for me constantly, and i am so beyond happy when you come straight in and i can hear you speaking to me.

you have been waiting so patiently for me to brush the dust off my shoulders from my fast descent, to climb out of the grave with you.

because i know that as much as you love having me visit you there, to lie in the grass under the shade of the tree that overhangs your resting spot, to cry and laugh and ponder the yonder above your bones, you also know, and have always known, that my spirit was never meant to stay buried with your remains.

i was meant to soar, just as you do now, from your home within all that is.

you are everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

time itself is an illusion of this plane.

i know that just as you once loved flying your small planes across our earthly skies, you now traverse the stratosphere.

and i know you are proud of me and the kids. i know it brings you such joy to watch us healing like the badasses we are.

but i want you to know that i am proud of you too. proud of who you were when you were alive, and proud to call you my mate from beyond the veil as well. you will always be mine, and i will always be yours.

and yet, there is a new breeze softly blowing in from the south.

though the leaves are golden and falling, while the days grow short and the nights long, on the other side of this beautiful planet, new shoots are rising in the southern hemisphere.

it is this new growth i am beginning to sense, gently rising within and all around me.

i know that one day, maybe even one day soon, you are sending me another great love. you have told me so many times from where you are now that you would. and so, i am learning that i must let a part of you go.

i will always be yours, and you will always be mine, but maybe i will be able to say this for another as well.

for the heart does not stop loving what was, just because new love blooms.

after winter comes the spring.

each new fire burns so that fresh growth may occur.

no rain, no flowers.

all the metaphors of nature point to this profound truth: the heart is infinite. we are infinite too. and we must weather the seasons of our lives.

to cherish each feeling, as my new friend on substack so brilliantly told me.

and i now realize that this is only the beginning of a brand new chapter in the book we have been weaving together since our souls’ conception.

change is the only constant, so why, as humans, do we fear it so much?

i love you, always and forever.

your beloved,

venus

as i write to finn, i am reminded that grief and growth are never separate. one feeds the other, and together they make us whole. wherever you are in your own season of becoming, may you remember that the heart is infinite, and light always finds a way through.

thank you for being here, it truly means the world. i love hearing your thoughts, if you feel called to comment.

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