the soul of writing in the age of ai

a neurodivergent mind making meaning the best way it knows how

this arose from reading a piece about ai and writing, and it made me think about my own creative process, especially when it comes to the long-form pieces i write here, and everything i’ve shared about trauma, losing finn, and the ongoing healing that’s taught me to keep turning pain into power.

sometimes i think about language fluency. how the meaning in a new language still comes through even if the structure is awkward. we don’t dismiss the message just because the grammar is imperfect. we listen for what the person is trying to say. a fourth grader’s essay can still break your heart, even if it isn’t mary oliver.

so i wonder about that in writing too. some people probably use ai out of laziness, for sure, but what about the ones who use it the way a language-learner uses a dictionary, just trying to express what’s in their heart with the tools they have?

i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately:

what makes our writing human?
what makes it authentic?
what makes it uniquely ours?

is it the process?
is it the tool?
is it the hand that types the sentence?
or is it the life that shaped it?

and how do you tell when a sentence is actually yours, and when it’s not?

i’m genuinely just asking.

because poems come through me in one breath, but essays can feel like swimming through a flooded current, everything swirling around me at once. and when that happens, is it wrong to reach for something that helps me stay afloat long enough to speak the truth?

i really do honor the writers who want every word untouched. i understand that impulse. but then i wonder, is the purity of the process the point? or is the point getting the truth out of my body and onto the page in whatever way it’s able to come through?

personally, i don’t use ai in my channeled writing or my poems and songwriting, but i do find it helpful when i’m trying to structure the longer posts. my writing that needs help shaping or scaffolding so i can actually get the story out.

and even before i think about tools, there’s this interesting paradox: my channeled writing never feels “mine” either. i just tune in, i listen, and my mind becomes an antenna. the words come from… somewhere. they arrive from beyond me and stream through me. so then i find myself wondering: what actually counts as “my” writing? what does authorship even mean when the work arrives like that?

when i do lean on a tool for the longer pieces, i move through every sentence slowly, feeling for resonance. i keep asking: do i feel myself here? does this line hold the essence of what i lived and what i yearn to convey? does the order of these words bring me closer to the truth, or does it take me away from it?

and because the experience is mine…
the meaning i’ve made of it is mine…
i find myself wondering what actually makes a story mine in the first place.

is it the structure and the scaffolding?

or is it the fact that i’m the one who lived it, and i’m the one trying to speak it?

and i’m aware that some writers don’t need anything outside themselves to organize a story. my mind just works differently. the truth is there, but the structure can fall apart. and i know there are writers whose messy, chaotic brilliance seems to just soar right onto the page, already perfect in its imperfections. i’ve always admired that. but not every mind works that way.

some of us have to write in whatever way lets the truth of our story out at all. poetry and songwriting have always come easily to me, but essay writing hasn’t, and i’ve long suspected that has more to do with my adhd than anything else. having something to anchor and create form, even if it’s a computer, helps me actually bring the truth of my essence onto the page.

maybe i sell myself short in the longer storytelling.
maybe this is simply the way my mind works.

for me, it always comes back to intention.
and to giving my three-year-old self, who was once silenced, a voice now.
it’s about the honesty of the soul behind the words, not so much the tool that crafts those words.

and, at the same time, i truly admire writers who write without using any form of ai help. i can appreciate both. i believe there is human striving in both forms in ninety percent of the cases.

so this is how i show up on the page,

in whatever way the essence of me can be transcribed.

and i’m sharing this because i’m always examining my own process, to help myself understand it. if your brain works differently too, or if you approach writing in your own unconventional way, i’d genuinely love to hear how it works for you.

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thank you for being here, it truly means the world. i love hearing your thoughts, if you feel called to comment.

i am a writer, speaker, and musician devoted to healing and embodiment. i share essays, poetry, and original music through venus consciousness. i’d love to walk this path with you. 💞