i feel tender today. that’s the thing about grief.
just when you think you’ve reached a new plateau in your healing journey, you find yourself underground again, just as i am now, typing this out on my phone.
i’m sitting in our crawl space, trying to figure out the number to call for someone to look at our heating system. all the things finn used to handle when he was alive.
it’s not even the acute pain that usually gets us the worst.
it’s the slow, steady work of carrying that same sorrow up the same old hill.
whether you’ve lost someone you love, or you carry other kinds of grief from the many ways life can break our hearts, the weight is real.
sure, there are pauses in between, the moments when you can stop and take in the view, but mostly, it feels like a slog.
and yet, as i type out these words with my thumbs, there’s a whispering in my soul, i can faintly just start to make it out.
a voice is growing louder than the throbbing thoughts of my despair.
beloved, the voice calls from somewhere deep inside my being.
like a child drawn to the edge of a well, i peer over the rim into the abyss. i find myself calling back, my words echoing off the sides down into eternity. i wipe a tear from my cheek and lean in closer to listen.
yes? i whisper, with a strand of hope, soft and thin as a spider’s web, unraveling its grip around my heart.
that’s when i hear it, the voice beneath the noise.
sweet child of my heart,
do not fear.
do not let the world’s sorrows drown you in their pain.
there is another way, soft and gentle like a sweet newborn’s breath upon your skin.
it doesn’t ask you to be anything other than what you are.
you don’t need to perform or prove yourself to anyone in order to receive my unconditional love and abundance.
breathe, my little fledgling.
your heart beats fast with courage and strength.
know that my breath will carry you on the winds of change, as you learn to spread your little wings and fly.
they may feel small in your earthly body, frail compared to the giants who gnash their teeth and bare their fangs in endless suffering and great shows of domination, yet your spirit is vast.
your spirit wings are as majestic as a dragon’s, and your heart is made of pure gold.
you are learning to breathe your heart’s fire without burning down all in your path.
you are learning to stretch your wings and feel how your shimmering rainbow scales protect you from any unwanted attack.
you are full of integrity and grace, and as such, you are one of my loyal defenders against the injustice that grips the earth in iron bands.
but all that is changing now.
the call has been heard, and like rain on a parched field, my love has already watered the soil.
a super bloom is in progress, for all the souls with strength in their bones and courage in their hearts are responding to my call.
so fear not, my precious little fledgling.
all that was turned upside down shall now be made right.
you are my beloved—
forever and always, always and forever.
love,
~the universe
thank you for being here, it truly means the world. i love hearing your thoughts, if you feel called to comment.
i am a writer, speaker, and musician devoted to healing and embodiment. i share essays, poetry, and original music through venus consciousness. i’d love to walk this path with you. 💞
🤍 this >>> "All that was turned upside down shall now be made right."
I could see you there, in that crawl space, grief pressing close, yet something luminous rising from beneath it. The tenderness in your writing feels earned.